Greedy in the family: how to live with him?

It is not for nothing that they say - not the one who has a lot of money is rich, but the one who has enough for a little. But what if the person with whom you live is content with very little, imposing his lifestyle on you as well?

Or restricts you in spending even on the essentials, making you humiliatingly account for every penny you spend? Such behavior already has the character of pathology.

Greed is a quality rarely blamed on women and often blamed on men.

Looking back at the history of family relations, it is easy to understand why this is the case: the man is traditionally considered to be the provider and breadwinner, the head of the family, and the family's well-being rests on him. A woman, on the other hand, keeps the home and raises children, but does not earn her own living.

As a result, two stereotypes were formed: a man who is greedy and a woman who is a spendthrift.

Any wise woman appreciates thrift in a man. A thrifty man does not spend in vain and increases his (and the family's) wealth. It is safe and comfortable to live with such a man. However, in life there are cases when thriftiness grows into greed.

We need to set the record straight right away: pathological greed is a difficult state of mind.that requires the help of a professional psychologist.

Behind the greed is most often a mental trauma received in childhood, and became the cause of excessive fear of losing what is dear to a person.

If you discover that your partner is a greedy man, you will have to make one of two serious decisions: either dump him and make life easier for yourself, or be prepared for a long and protracted war with the skewed personality of your loved one.

There are subtypes that stand out among greeders, they are different, and you need to behave differently with each of them. Here are some of them:

Greedy as a victim of parenting

In his childhood he was not spoiled with gifts, it was not customary to celebrate holidays in the family, his mother and father counted every penny and hated everyone who was wealthier than them. In such a family grows a greedy person who is sure that such behavior is the norm. He does not remember memorable dates, does not give gifts, saves on the most necessary things, often earning quite enough, but not realizing it. With such a person you can mess around and try to re-educate, showing that another life is possible, and it is beautiful.

Greedy is a coward

He is very afraid of being left without money. He tries to control all relatives, and especially the most beloved people, imposing financial dependence on them. He is convinced that people do something good to each other only out of selfish motives, and, unfortunately, sincerely believes that you are with him only because of his money (that is why he restricts you as much as he can). If you decide to give such a person happiness and be happy with him yourself, get ready to convince him long and tediously that your love has nothing to do with his money.

Greedy is a parasite

Will not miss an opportunity to pay for his requests with other people's money. This type is often found among women. For men with this behavior is fixed nickname "alfons". Independently correct the pathology of his partner in this case you will not be able to, because it is built on it the whole life position of the man. And it is as follows: while they give - take, accumulate and hide in case when they start to beat and have to run (and that sooner or later "run" will have to, they do not doubt). The last thing such people think about is providing for themselves, when there are no "givers" within reach.

Greedy is an important person

A goal-oriented individual who persistently invests everything in the development of his business. This behavior is not always a pathology - having promoted the business and receiving a decent income, a person relaxes, and life comes to normal. But there is also a pathological variant, when total saving for the sake of a high goal becomes a habit.

Greedy is a liar

Saves money on his family and spends it on the side. For example, on a mistress. Sometimes - on the needs of his relatives. In any of these variants he thinks that it is normal to spend money as he thinks necessary, and his wife will do without, she loves him as it is.

Greedy is selfish

Saves money on everyone but his favorite person. Fusses over every kopeck that has to be allocated for the person he loves (whether he loves or not?), but regularly gives expensive gifts to himself. The last two types often grow out of so-called "mama's boys".

However, having found that your soul mate is not always ready to fulfill your desire, do not hurry to label him as a greedy man. Try to look at the situation from the outside, estimate what needs your family has, and whether the family budget is enough for them and your desires. It is quite possible that your "greedy" partner is actually just thrifty, and quite rightly believes that a good repair in the house is better than a new fur coat.

📌 Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

1. Why does the person in the family show greed?
   Greed can be the result of childhood trauma, fear of poverty or low self-esteem. It is often related to negative experiences and attitudes from the past.
2. How do you distinguish thrift from pathological greed?
   Thrift is the prudent management of resources, taking into account the needs of the family. Greed, on the other hand, is excessive saving, even to the detriment of loved ones.
3. What should you do if your partner refuses to discuss financial matters?
   Try to start a conversation in a calm environment, expressing your feelings and needs. If this doesn't work, it may be worth seeing a marriage counselor.
4. Is it possible to change a greedy person?
   Change is possible if a person recognizes the problem and is willing to work on themselves. However, in some cases, greed can be a deeply rooted character trait.
5. How can you protect yourself and your children from the consequences of greed in the family?
   Set clear financial boundaries, discuss the family budget, and seek professional help if necessary to maintain emotional well-being.