Death of a loved one: life goes on ...

It is mysterious and terrible, it always comes suddenly and takes loved ones to a place from which they can never return. The death of a loved one is always a heavy trauma that leaves an indelible mark on the soul.

Sometimes it is not possible to believe that the person is gone. What to do with the pain of loss? To endure and try to fill the void formed inside? Wear eternal mourning? Or maybe follow him? I think it's time to come to a psychologist.

Most often, the grieving person's first inclination is to try to dull the inner pain, to forget about it at least for a while. Unfortunately, this leads people to make mistakes.

It's a mistake to dull the pain with alcohol.

One typical mistake is trying to numb the pain of loss with alcohol, drugs.

Under no circumstances should you do anything like that! Alcohol dulls the pain for a while, but when you sober up, it becomes even stronger. To dull it, you need a bigger dose... Thus a vicious circle is formed, which results in alcoholism or drug addiction. But the worst thing is that the problem remains unresolved.

It's a mistake to shut yourself in

Another mistake is to put a cross on your life

Deciding that without a loved one, everything is meaningless. The extreme manifestation of this position is suicide, but more often there is another variant - a person loses the taste for life, lives in the past, closes in himself.

It's a mistake to dive headfirst into work

The third mistake is frantically trying to fill the inner emptiness with anything.

On this ground can develop, for example, workaholism (a person tries to load himself with work to such an extent that there is no time to think).

You have lost a close, dear person. A wound has formed in your soul, the pain is unbearable.

How do you recover and move on with your life, avoiding wrong decisions whenever possible?

The main assistant in this difficult situation for you will be a psychologist.

After all, death is a mental injury. Physical injuries are treated by a doctor, mental injuries differ from them only in that they are not visible. But they require the same professional help! The result of complications of mental wounds can become depression, phobias, addictions, neuroses. A psychologist will help prevent such a scenario.

Believe it! In general, religious people are much more comfortable with the death of their loved ones than hardened materialists. All religions of the world have such concepts as immortal soul and afterlife. Belief in the immortal soul gives hope that the deceased did not really disappear without a trace, he reincarnated in another world, which means that you have a chance, albeit ghostly, to meet him. Often the hope that life does not end with death gives strength to live on.

Often the relief of heartache comes from a completely unexpected source: everyday life. A natural consequence of the loss of a loved one is depression and apathy. If you don't pull yourself out of this state, the result can be the second mistake - neglecting your life and withdrawing into memories.

To prevent this from happening, do not change your way of life in any way.

Little daily rituals like morning coffee and a general cleaning of the house for the weekend make you realize that life hasn't stopped, that it is possible without the one you cared so much about.

The ability to shift attention from the negative to the positive is also important. Even physical pain seems worse than it really is if you think about it all the time. The same happens with mental pain - if you dwell on it, depression is assured.

Instead, try to focus on the positive aspects of your life.

Recall all the happiest moments you once experienced with the deceased, mentally thank the person for giving them to you. Think about how he or she would feel about what you are doing now, what your actions would make him or her happy. Imagine that a loved one is watching you - they will obviously be upset by your depression, and they will probably be happy for you when they see that death has not broken you. Think of the living people around you, too. One of your loved ones has left the world, but others remain.

Your tragedy affects them in some way, too, and your depressed state will immediately affect their peace of mind. Take care of them.

Death, terrible and inevitable as it may seem, is an integral part of life. Moreover, without this great transforming force, life would be impossible in principle. You have lost a dear, close person; he or she is gone forever. But life, in spite of everything, goes on.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) ❓

1. How do you deal with the pain of losing a loved one?
   Grief is a natural process. Allow yourself to feel pain, do not suppress emotions. Talk about the deceased, remember good moments, seek support from loved ones or a psychologist.
2. How long does it take to get over a loss?
   The timeframe is individual: some people need a few months, others need years. It is important not to rush yourself and not to compare yourself to other people's experiences. Grief has its stages, and everyone goes through them at their own pace.
3. How do you help a child get over the death of a relative?
   Speak honestly but gently, taking into account the age. Do not hide the fact of the death, but explain it in accessible language. Support the child, let him or her express emotions through drawing, playing or talking.
4. Is it possible to maintain a connection with the deceased?
   Yes, through memory: photos, letters, traditions in his or her honor. Some find solace in faith, talking "inside themselves" or creating something meaningful in memory of their loved one.
5. When is it a good idea to see a grief therapist?
   If the grief does not subside after a year, suicidal thoughts, complete apathy or inability to return to daily life will occur. A professional can help you through the difficult stages.