Should I have a baby? Motivations to get pregnant.

The birth of a child is the most responsible step in a person's life, which should be planned and prepared for. The natural law of reproduction takes over the human flesh, consciously or accidentally we become parents.

"The beginnings laid down in a man's childhood are like letters carved into the bark of a young tree, growing with him, forming an integral part of him." - W. Hugo

There are many reasons pushing a woman to have a child, we can single out 7 main ones. Let's consider them.

1. Check-in.

Sex without commitment, sex as achieving quick gratification, sex as having a good time!

The result of such pleasure is conception! This "accident" happens to young people who are not ready for responsibility, as well as to married couples - an unplanned child, hence the difficulties associated with the care and education of the child. Then the situation goes to the stage of conflict with the surrounding world, which results in constant tension and in the future provokes problems in the family and with children. Conflict occurs in different spheres of life: social, relationship with the outside world, self-realization, etc. Such a union will not be happy. Most often in such a union, all three - parents and child - suffer. Parents from the domineering increase in responsibility quietly hate each other, and the child lives in constant rejection. As a result, the family breaks up, the parents remain wounded and unhappy, and the child feels incomplete personality all his life. Saving the family or helping to correct the situation can family psychologist.

2. Dependence on society.

It is a societal norm to want children. And many families decide to "have" a child in order to be like everyone else. Women are especially susceptible to this motive: "I have to give birth, it is my duty as a woman". This dependence on people's opinion implies psychosomatic syndromeand hence all the negative consequences, both in the relationship between parents and children.

3. loneliness and the desire to be loved.

Based on this motive, the woman tries to get rid of her sense of inferiority. Such a mother acts egocentrically, she tries to live through the child's life - her new life, to realize her unfulfilled dreams. A mother who gave birth to a child "for herself" will bring him up "amoeba", a person who does not know how to build relationships, who has no opinion of his own and goes at the mercy of stronger personalities. Boys grow up to be mama's boys, girls to be willless victims. It is not excluded that in adulthood these children will carry over into adulthood the traits laid down in childhood psychological models Behavior.

4. The child as a provisioning mechanism, or giving birth for the sake of a benefit.

Europe is now in a demographic crisis. And many countries have found a way out of this situation by increasing child support allowances. Unfortunately, there are parents for whom children are an easy way to earn money. Children born in such dysfunctional families are left to their own devices, and life is a struggle for survival. Such children grow up to be outcasts, bitter and embittered individuals who pose a threat to society, in need of help.

5. Old age.

"To have someone to give a glass of water to in old age", or "Children are our future". Having such motives, parents want to secure their future (old age) at the expense of their children. They raise their children with a heightened sense of duty and obligation to their parents. But, out of a sense of obligation, no one has ever loved anyone. And obligation-based care will not last long.

6. As a way to keep the man you love.

The child is not the "glue" for your "broken" relationship. Even if the man stays in the family for the sake of the child, the parents' relationship remains strained. Eventually, the man escapes from the cage in which he was put by force. And then it turns out that the child did not meet the expectations of the mother and he is the culprit in her troubles. Once again, it's a vicious circle, from which without competentlyй aids  can and  there's no way out.

7. Love!

The only and the main reason why happy families plan to have a child is LOVE! The child itself is the meaning of life for the parents. They put unconditional love into it without expecting anything in return. For such parents the birth of a child is happiness, they enjoy taking care of the baby, his first word, smile. All the best that is inherent in them by nature, they are happy to give to the child and from this their life becomes even more meaningful.

There are many more reasons why people have children. Adults who are affected by the first 6 reasons live their lives according to the family script that has been embedded in them since childhood. They unconsciously carry into their adult life the behavioral pattern that their parents nurtured in them.

"We give birth to children so easily and carelessly, but we care so little for the creation of man!" M. Gorky

Fortunately, it is possible to change the programmed scenario by seeking help from the specialistwhich helps us face reality, cope with life's difficulties, and give hope for a new future.

There are long-established phrases: "Children are the flowers of life", "A child is love made visible", and it is very desirable that a woman preparing to become a mother experienced the joy of motherhood and these quotes would have a place in her life.

📌 Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

1. What motives might motivate a woman to have a child?
   Among the main motives are: unplanned pregnancy, social pressure, desire to get rid of loneliness, material considerations, desire to provide support in old age, attempt to preserve the relationship with the partner and sincere love for the future child.
2. Why is it important to take an informed approach to the decision to have a baby?
   A conscious decision helps to avoid negative consequences for all participants: parents and child. This contributes to the creation of a harmonious family and a healthy psycho-emotional atmosphere.
3. How do social stereotypes influence the decision to have a child?
   Societal expectations can put pressure on women to feel obliged to give birth to conform to norms, which can lead to ill-considered decisions.
4. What are the risks associated with having a child "for yourself"?
   A child born to fulfill his or her own needs may face hyper-parenting and difficulties in developing independence, which affects his or her personal development.
5. When should I see a psychologist when planning a pregnancy?
   If there are doubts, internal conflicts or pressure from others, a consultation with a psychologist will help to make a balanced and informed decision.