Rape: myths, threats and psychological consequences.

Rape is a slippery topic. Society has formed a very ambiguous attitude towards this phenomenon: on the one hand, forcing sex is a crime in our country, but on the other hand, the victim of violence is often attacked and condemned - and this at a time when she needs help and sympathy! Why does this happen?

Do you know the truth about this phenomenon or, like most people, are you captive to myths and stereotypes? How can you avoid self abuse? What to do if it does happen? There are a lot of questions. Let's try to answer at least some of them.

What do you think a typical rape scene looks like?

Night, a dark alley, a frightening shadow, a knife at the throat, threats sounding in the ear... In fact, most often rape happens - during a date! In most cases, the rapist and the victim know each other, sometimes quite well. Men's logic in this case is as simple as a crowbar: if you invited a girl on a date, took her to a restaurant, treated her to champagne, spent money on her, then you supposedly have the right to demand your "payment" from her.

Unfortunately, many girls who are victims of dating violence think the same way and therefore keep quiet about what happened.

Do not be like them, remember - sex for money is offered by women of a very specific "profession", and you are not one of them.

What do you think a typical rapist looks like?

An antisocial element with a menacing appearance? Uh, no. A rapist could be having a nice chat with you over tea right now. In fact, researchers have found such an astonishing variety of male types going on a violent spree that they have been unable to come up with a somewhat reliable classification.

Which means that any man in your neighborhood can be a rapist. Even your best friend.

We must recognize the sad fact that rape is often committed by quite normal, respectable men who have no problems with the law or their psyche. They just don't see their actions as violence (also, like you, think rapists hide in back alleys).

What do you think makes a man decide to rape a woman?

You think rapists are those who can't fulfill their sexual needs in a normal way. Maybe they have trouble getting along with girls? Scientists who have studied the phenomenon of sexual violence will disappoint you on this one too: most rapists have plenty of opportunities to fulfill their sexual needs in a legitimate way. As mentioned above. most of them are ordinary men, many even have wives and girlfriends and have no problem socializing.

One last curiosity: why do girls become victims of violence?

The rapists themselves, in an attempt to justify themselves, blame the girls: they dress provocatively, behave too loosely, visit hot spots, and so on. Unfortunately, society in this case agrees with the rapists, placing part of the blame for what happened on the victims of violence. You know: "Why did she even go with him?", "And you saw how she was dressed!", "If she really did not want, he could not have raped her"... There are many such false accusations against poor girls. But researchers refute this myth, which is so convenient for men: even the humble "gray mouse" can become a victim of violence.and even a woman of advanced age.

There are no facts to prove that revealing clothing on a girl or uninhibited behavior is linked to rape.

As we can see, societal perceptions of rape, on the 80% are wrong. It is not a girl's provocative behavior and appearance that drives men to violence, nor is it sexual hunger, but then what is it? Is the nature of rape actually sexual, or is it just skillfully disguised as sex?

Virtually all rapists, though diverse, have one thing in common:

the urge, the desire to dominate, to dominate.

The act of abusing a woman is not about satisfying sexual hunger. It's about satisfying the lust for powerthe urge to subjugate. Would you say that sounds like a mental disorder? To a certain extent you would be right, a certain percentage of men have a strong need to control and subjugate others, and cannot express it in any other way than by abusing weaker women. Unfortunately, such a pronounced urge to physically subjugate others is not limited to women, but children and the elderly are also victims.

But in reality the number of such men is small.

What is it that pushes the rest of us to such an action?

Most often it is a misunderstanding. Its cause is the stereotype in society that if a girl says "no", she thinks "maybe", and if she says "maybe", she means "yes". The only thing left is to supplement it with the image of a "cool macho" constantly imposed by the media, from one glance of which girls melt.

When a man is alone with a girl, he wants to be the macho man, but his mind is a complete mess about what the girl really wants. Let's add the money issue described at the beginning of the article. And (what a sin to say) some desire to subdue a naughty girl to himself (such a desire is an integral part of male nature, otherwise how would men rule in society?).

With a little understanding of the causes and threats of rape, we can already determine how to avoid such a development and not become a victim of violence. So, from violence will not save neither modest outfits, nor withdrawn behavior. It is not mini-skirts or deep cleavage that attracts a violent man. Uncertain behavior that betrays anxiety and fear. If you are afraid, if you are weak, you are the perfect candidate for such a man.

The second aspect is miscommunication between partners. Try to avoid him, expressing your plans and desires as clearly and concisely as possible. If you do not intend to have sex with this man, do not tease him and give vague hints, he may not take them in the way you would like.

Third aspect: keep your mind clear. Often, seeing the girl's rebuff, a man will get cunning and, for example, get her drunk or drug her. You should be especially careful at parties and other fun events where alcohol is flowing - such festivities sometimes end in gang rape (one of the most brutal forms of violence). As soon as you feel uncomfortable at such an event, it is better to leave it.

If you suspect that the man is going to get you drunk, end the meeting.

If you are a victim of sexual assault, however, you should not endure in silence alone. Rape can result in a whole host of mental disorders - neuroses, phobias, depression, psychosomatic diseases, and, of course, sexual disorders.

An experienced psychologist or sexologist can help you avoid them and get your life back to normal. Therefore, if you do become a victim of rape, it is better to see a specialist. In Western countries, psychological assistance to victims of rape is a prerequisite for their rehabilitation. We hope that in time this will be realized in our country as well.

❓ Frequently Asked Questions

1. Does rape always happen in dark alleys?
   No. More often than not, the abuser knows the victim and the abuse occurs, for example, during a date.
2. What does a typical rapist look like?
   A rapist can be any man, even a respectable man with no legal problems.
3. Why do men commit rape?
   The reasons are not always related to sexual frustration; many rapists have families and normal relationships.
4. Is the rape victim at fault?
   No. Regardless of a woman's behavior or appearance, the responsibility lies with the rapist.
5. How does society respond to rape victims?
   Unfortunately, often with judgment and blame, which adds to the trauma of the victim.