That girlfriend envy. Signs and psychological aspects.

You've known each other since childhood, and you've always had fun and fun together. She is your friend, and to her you can confide all your innermost things, share your joy and grief, get useful advice and come to your aid at any moment....

But lately you've begun to notice something strange in her behavior. Perhaps she is possessed by envy? How to recognize in friends "black" feeling and whether it is worth fighting it?

Envy is multifaceted

We are always comparing ourselves with other people, and the main criteria are "better" and "worse". But in some cases, this serves as an impetus to one's own development (and even progress in general), encouraging active actions to achieve success. In other cases, it leads to negative emotions in the human soul, causing self-destruction and damaging the object of envy.

When a person becomes jealous of someone, he usually realizes that this feeling is negative, so he tries to carefully hide or disguise it.

Only in rare cases, the envious person behaves openly, expressing his annoyance, irritation and aggression towards the more successful person, and sometimes explicitly trying to "put sticks in the wheels". However, secret envy is always scarier and more dangerous than open envy, it can be compared to a time bomb, which sooner or later will explode, and the consequences can be very deplorable.

Envy ruins many relationships, including friendships. After all, this negative feeling can be anywhere, and worst of all, when the envious person turns out to be a close person in whom you have trust and respect. Therefore, as they say, "trust but verify".

"Symptoms" of envy

Envy is difficult to restrain for a long time, it is sure to manifest itself, accumulating over time. Suspect your friend in evil thoughts can be one or more signs, just take a closer look at her behavior, mood changes, facial expressions. Here are a few signs that almost with a hundred percent probability allow you to "figure out" the friend envious:

1. When you share your joyful experiences, notice your friend's displeasure, boredom or irritation, trying to "cool" you off or move the conversation to another topic.
2. A friend tries to devalue your achievements, explaining them not by your efforts and efforts, but, for example, a favorable coincidence of circumstances.
3. After talking to your friend, you begin to feel guilty about the fact that things are going well for you.
4. You notice that your friend imitates you (in appearance, demeanor, lifestyle, etc.).
5. A friend dissuades you from taking any decisive steps that could lead to your further prosperity, finding many trifling excuses for it.
6. You notice that your girlfriend is more interested in the negative aspects of your life and just ignores the positive ones.
7. A friend tries to compare herself to you in public, emphasizing her own superiority, even if in some moments you are, in fact, clearly on top.
8. A friend expresses her "love" for you (especially in the presence of other people) too vigorously, naively, praising and exaggerating your virtues.

How do you deal with girlfriend envy?

If you feel that your friend is jealous of you, you should not immediately break off the relationship. Of course, you should not allow this feeling to develop further, because it really transforms people, and even a close person, eaten by envy, is able to commit a meanness towards you. Do not try to keep friendly relations knowingly hide your successes and pretend to please the envious woman, - a real friendship on this will not build.

If your friend is dear to you, try to talk to her and understand her feelings.

Perhaps she needs help, and it is you. You can discuss her behavior with a psychologist to find out what her jealousy is based on and how you can deal with it.

If you realize that former relationships can not return (and, perhaps, initially friendly relations were just a fake?), then it is better to shield yourself from communication with such a person. However, sometimes it is difficult to get rid of ill-wishers and protect yourself from their negativity. In this case, you will be helped by the advice of a psychologist, who will not only tell you what to do so that other people's envy does not spoil your life, but will also help you to extract positive aspects from it.

❓ Frequently Asked Questions

1. How do you recognize jealousy on the part of a girlfriend?
   Envy can manifest itself through passive aggression, devaluing your accomplishments, being overly critical, trying to compete with or copy your style and behavior.
2. Why would a friend be jealous?
   Reasons for envy can be insecurity, dissatisfaction with your own life, comparing yourself to you, and feeling unfair because of your successes.
3. How does envy affect friendship?
   Envy can destroy trust, cause tension and conflict, and lead to estrangement or broken relationships.
4. What do you do if a friend is jealous?
   It is important to discuss the situation openly, express your feelings and try to understand the reasons for jealousy. If the friend is ready to work on herself, support her. Otherwise, it may be worth reconsidering the degree of closeness in the relationship.
5. Can friendships be maintained in the presence of jealousy?
   Yes, if both parties recognize the problem and are willing to work to overcome it, the friendship can be maintained and even strengthened.