Alcoholism - a disease or a habit? How to get rid of it?

More than one life has been ruined because of this demon. It has destroyed thousands of families, killed millions of people. And worst of all, it continues to destroy and kill. Alcohol is the most widespread and the most dangerous of legal drugs.

It changes consciousness, causes dependence, subjugates. What to do if there is an alcoholic in your family? How to save him and the whole family? What to do if you yourself suddenly realized that you are addicted to alcohol and cannot do without drinking?

The real causes of alcoholism

Don't be deceived: alcoholism is a much more complex phenomenon than it appears at first glance.

There is a popular belief today that it is a disease. To a certain extent it is true: alcohol causes a number of chemical changes in the body. But for these changes to occur, it is necessary to abuse alcohol for quite a long time and on a regular basis, and willingly.

That is, before alcoholism becomes a disease, it goes through a habit stage.

Such a habit could be, for example, regularly "celebrating" the end of the work week or receiving a paycheck.

Far away The social environment plays no small role in the development of alcoholism. This social aspect was first seen by the famous psychologist Eric Berne. After studying it thoroughly, he described a complex psycho-social game. It's called: The Alcoholic.

Alcoholism is a game between people

Alcoholism is a whole play with five roles.

These roles can be played by different people, but can also be combined. The main character in this drama is, of course, himself Alcoholic. The main supporting role is played by the so-called Stalker - a person who spoils the Alcoholic's life by judging and scolding him/her for drinking. Guess who most often becomes such a persecutor? Of course - the wife! The third participant Savior. Most often it is a friend or a caring relative trying to help the alcoholic to get rid of addiction. For a certain period of time the Savior even succeeds, but this success is always temporary, until a new meeting with the Provider. Supplier - the one who sells or gives alcohol to the alcoholic. And the fifth role SimpletonA person who tries to help the alcoholic (for example, by lending him money), but his actions only make the situation worse.

This game is complicated. Its goal is not the drinking itself, nor the intoxication. Its goal is to gain the "right" to indulge your desires, justifying it by the fact that those around you despise you. The absolute goal of the game shirk responsibility for their actionsand blame it on others. It is familiar: "I drink not because I am an alcoholic, but because no one needs me. As long as this game lasts, the alcoholic himself will not be able to give up alcohol completely. But in order to make it possible to realize this game, it is necessary for those who take on other roles, first of all, the role of the Stalker. As long as there is a Stalker, the alcoholic feels entitled to drink. He will feel very uncomfortable if it suddenly appears that there is no one to condemn his irresponsible actions.

Where to look for the causes of alcoholism?

If you have an alcoholic in your family, take a close look at both his and your own behavior. Perhaps you are the Pursuer he needs so much. Sometimes the wife fulfills several roles at once: as a savior persuading the alcoholic to quit drinking, as a simpleton caring for the hapless husband, as a persecutor scolding him for the drunken money. She has her own role - the role of the alcoholic's wife. You should not pity her - she needs this role as much as the alcoholic needs his role.

If you find yourself involved in the Alcoholic's game, you should seek professional counseling services.

With its help you will understand the essence of the game itself and get the opportunity to get out of the role, thus breaking the whole course of the game and slowing down the development of alcoholism in a loved one. Sometimes it turns out to be more effective than coding and treatment by a narcologist (who in this case gets the role of a savior, which means that the game continues).

The hardest thing in the life of an alcoholic is not getting rid of the addiction. The most difficult thing is to find meaning for this very life.

As long as the game continues, it is the meaning of the game. But if the game ends, life needs to be filled with something else. And in this the role of close people can hardly be overestimated. Often hidden talents and aspirations are lost in an alcoholic, which at one time turned out to be unnecessary. If you know about these aspirations - remind about them, support the person, push to their realization, even if you think that they are useless. This also requires the help of a professional psychologist. A former alcoholic literally has to be taught to live again, and it is not easy. But as a result, you will have a chance to get your loved one back, as well as happiness and peace in the family.

The beginning of healing...

If you find that you are the alcoholic, not someone else. know that you're halfway to your own salvation.. The greatest misfortune of alcoholics is that they do not realize their pathological state. Sometimes it is impossible to convince them of this, even if all the signs of severe alcoholism are evident. But you have succeeded! So, you are ready to start your way up to a healthy life. The very first thing you need to do on this path is to radically change your social environment, depriving yourself of the opportunity to return to the game "Alcoholic". It happens quite often: having stopped drinking, the husband - a former alcoholic divorces his wife. Now you can understand why this happens - he seeks to get away from his Pursuer, who willy-nilly pulls him down, to the former way of life. The wife of an alcoholic, although in words strives to rid her husband of a pernicious addiction, in fact she herself contributes a lot to the development of the disease. She does not need a good husband, but an alcoholic, otherwise her game will be ruined.

Changing your social environment is a difficult process, during which you will definitely need the help of a psychologist.

A psychologist may be the only one who can support you on your road to recovery.

Often, after quitting drinking, alcoholics face fierce resistance from loved ones to their new lifestyle. Knowing the game "Alcoholic", it is possible to understand the reasons for such resistance: everyone had a part to play in this game.and this role was beneficial to him in one way or another. It is necessary to be prepared for this, and the support of a psychologist will come in handy.

So, an alcoholic is not just a marginalized element of society. It's not just a sick person. He is a talented player. However, when playing this drama, one should remember that its ending is always sad, and to avoid it, one only needs to stop this play.

❓ Frequently Asked Questions

1. Is alcoholism a disease or a habit?
   Alcoholism starts out as a habit, but over time it develops into a disease, causing chemical changes in the body and forming an addiction.
2. How does the social environment affect the development of alcoholism?
   The social environment plays a significant role in shaping behavioral patterns and supporting certain scenarios, as described, for example, in Eric Berne's concept.
3. What roles exist in the "game" of alcoholism?
   The Alcoholic, the Stalker, the Savior, the Deliverer, and the Simpleton. These roles can be played by different people or combined by one person.
4. How do you get out of your role in the "game" of alcoholism?
   Awareness of your role and referral to a psychologist will help you change behavioral scripts and stop participating in the destructive "game".
5. Is it effective to see a psychologist for alcoholism?
   Yes, psychological help promotes awareness of the problem, behavioral change, and recovery from addictive relationships, which is an important step toward recovery.