Psychological problems of adolescents. How to avoid the difficulties of the transition age?

The adolescence of a son or daughter is every parent's nightmare. A cute child changes beyond recognition - physically, morally, spiritually. How can you help your dear child to overcome this period and not make a mess of things?

How do you get used to your child becoming an adult? What to do if you failed to protect your teenager from problems? There are many questions. Let's answer at least some of them.

The adolescent crisis scares parents and school teachers for a reason: it is the longest and most tumultuous crisis in human life, marking a person's transformation from child to adult.

It begins at 11-13 years of age (earlier for girls, later for boys) and continues until 16-18 years of age, when a full adult personality is formed.

This period is extremely important, because mistakes can lead to the fact that the transformation of personality will not take place completely, and as a result, society gets the so-called Kidalt (from Kid, child + adult, adult) - an infantile person who is unable to take full responsibility for himself. It is enough to look around - there are a lot of such immature people around us. Naturally, you do not want your child to join their ranks.

So what to do about the teenage years?

Parents need to prepare for adolescence almost as soon as their child is born.

The most important step in this preparation is to build a friendly, warm, trusting relationship with the child.

This relationship with parents is critical during this time of change. It is important, if only because you as parents will have the opportunity to be the first, if not the last, to know about your child's problems. This allows you to work together to solve the problem before it becomes irreversible.

In addition to trusting each other, you as parents need to understand what your child is going through. There are a number of things about adolescence that need to be taken into account.

Peculiarities of physical and mental maturation in adolescents

The first (and probably most problematic) feature is. physical maturation in adolescents occurs before mental maturation..

That is, the body matures quite quickly and by the age of 14-15 is ready for reproduction, but the consciousness is still childish. During this period, adolescents are more vulnerable than ever. New opportunities both attract and frighten. The adolescent aspires to be independent, but he or she is not yet capable of making responsible decisions. In addition, there is another side to this vulnerability: very suddenly, very different values than before come to the forefront. The opinion of others (especially peers) becomes critically important for the child, and in order to meet it, he is ready to do a lot. It is in this desire to "be like them" lies the root of many troubles. "For company" teenager is often ready to try drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, he may even go to the crime, not quite understanding what he is doing. What does this mean for parents?

As parents, you are still responsible for the actions of your son or daughter. Therefore, it is extremely important to have as much influence as possible on the formation of his or her environment. You need to know who his or her friends are, what their families are like, what (at least roughly) this company (and your child with it) does while you are not around. Here, too, friendly and trusting relationships play a key role: a teenager who does not trust or fear his parents, living under the burden of numerous prohibitions, will try to lead as secretive (from parents, of course) life as possible. He will definitely get acquainted with alcohol, have his first sexual experience, and learn many other things, but all this will pass you by.

How to properly build a relationship with a teenager

So remember once and for all: Prohibitions won't help!

What to do then, you may ask. It remains to rely, once again, on those very trusting relationships. Instead of a ban, it is better to have a heart-to-heart talk. If you are worried about your child becoming addicted to harmful substances, have a conversation about it. Such a conversation should be seriously prepared, weighing the arguments, choosing the most appropriate ones.

Remember, however, that the most effective arguments are always examples from real life. If you notice that your child smells of tobacco, tell him, for example, about a relative (if he knows the relative and communicates with him periodically, the effect will be even stronger) who suffers from lung cancer. But do not intimidate! Let the child understand that your conversation is not an attempt to control him, but a manifestation of care and concern for him. But this is only if your relationship is one of trust....

What if you've made a number of mistakes in the past and now that trusting relationship between you is gone?

The answer is: it's never too late to start building them!

But be forewarned - it is much more difficult than starting from scratch. If you are not confident in your abilities, enlist the help of a competent practicing adolescent psychologist. You face a difficult task: to convince the child that he can trust you. And he is likely to have already formed a completely different opinion on this matter. The experience of a psychologist shows: 100% sure recipes to return trust is not, but very helpful conversation, during which you recognize in front of the child your blunders in your relationship with him, and ask for forgiveness. Do not be afraid to lose parental authority (in adolescence, the authority of all parents collapses, so, in fact, you already have nothing to lose), such a conversation will be a signal to the child of several important changes: First, you will let him know that you treat him as an equal and respect his position; secondly, the recognition of mistakes and apologize allows you to open a new page in the relationship, you make it clear that you are ready to build them in a new way; thirdly, you can maximally convey to the child that you love him (and for him it is very important).

❓ Frequently Asked Questions

1. Why is adolescence considered a period of crisis?
   Adolescence is characterized by rapid physical changes that outpace mental maturation. This leads to an internal conflict between the desire for autonomy and the inability to make responsible decisions. During this period, the opinion of peers becomes especially important, which can lead to risky behavior.
2. How can parents build a trusting relationship with their teenager?
   It is important to form a warm and friendly relationship with your child from an early age. This will help the adolescent feel supported and open in communicating with parents, which is especially important during the period of transition.
3. What features of adolescent mental development should be considered?
   Adolescents mature physically before they mature mentally. This means that, despite their adult appearance, they still need guidance and support in making decisions.
4. How should parents respond to a teenager's desire for independence?
   Parents should respect their teen's desire for autonomy by giving them space to express themselves, but remain available for support and advice.
5. What interventions can help prevent risky behaviors in adolescents?
   Maintaining an open dialogue, taking an interest in the adolescent's life and being aware of his or her environment can help reduce the likelihood of involvement in risky behavior. Prohibitions and punishments can lead to secrecy and mistrust.