{"id":926,"date":"2013-04-04T14:04:33","date_gmt":"2013-04-04T11:04:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.my-shrink.net\/?p=926"},"modified":"2025-05-09T15:06:43","modified_gmt":"2025-05-09T12:06:43","slug":"razvod-roditelej-kak-podgotovit-k-nemu-rebenka","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nedelkova.pro\/en\/razvod-roditelej-kak-podgotovit-k-nemu-rebenka.php","title":{"rendered":"Parents' divorce. How to prepare a child for it?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Divorce is hard, even for an adult. It's no joke - a family is falling apart. But many families going through divorce have children. Maybe your family is going through this difficult change, too. How can you prepare your child for divorce?<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

What can I do to make this process as painless as possible for him? How can I help?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How to help a child get through a divorce<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Unfortunately, you won't be able to save your child from the psychological pain of divorce at all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Divorce is the destruction of a child's world, they have to experience the loss of one of their parents, and leaving the family is perceived exactly as a loss, no less!<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Adapting to a new life in a single-parent family, maybe even surviving a move to another home or another city... If your child's mental state is important to you,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Consult with a child and family psychologist before beginning divorce proceedings<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A specialist can help you prepare your child for a difficult stage in life.<\/p>\n\n\n

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\"parental<\/span><\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n

Unfortunately, not everyone has time to think about and prepare for divorce. Circumstances are different, and the reasons for divorce are also different. Often divorce falls on the head of family members as a snow on the head, and to do something is not enough time, and desire. Very often parents are too absorbed in their own problems to pay attention to the children. Sometimes terrible things happen for the child - for example, dad and mom begin to \"pull the blanket\", requiring the child to choose who is dearer to him. It is almost impossible to make this choice, because the child loves both mom and dad, and the most important thing he wants is for this horror to stop and everything to be as it was before.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Another common mistake is refusing to allow a parent who has left the family to see their child.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

It is not difficult to guess that from such actions, it is not the \"guilty\" of divorce that suffers the most, but the innocent child.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, the family prospect is divorce, and that's what the child needs to be prepared for.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How do you prepare a child for a parent's divorce?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Undoubtedly, one of the most difficult things for any parent to do to tell the baby that his parents will no longer be living together.<\/strong>. This is a very serious conversation, for which you should be morally prepared and carefully choose your words. Perhaps your husband (wife) has hurt you badly and you want to share your resentment with someone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Don't you dare share something like that with a child!<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Remember - both mom and dad are equally important to him, and any conflict between them becomes a mental trauma. A child is not the one who should complain or criticize his spouse. Even more so, you should not convince the child that his dad (mom) is bad - this will not only cause trauma, but will also affect the further development of personality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What should be said to the child?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Just the facts, as little emotion as possible. Say that you and your dad (mom) will have to break up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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In doing so. do everything you can to show that it's not the child's fault.<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n

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\"divorce<\/span><\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n

It seems strange to many people, but there is a disturbing trend: often children who have experienced their parents' divorce blame themselves for it. They feel that it is because of them that the disaster happened. Therefore, it is very important to convince the child that in what happened is not his fault, that the divorce is due to circumstances that do not depend on him. If attention is not paid to this aspect, the child may develop an inferiority complex, neurosis, and a tendency to suicide.
At all times, try to maintain a favorable, or at least even environment in the relationship. Scandals strongly affect the emotional state of the child. And what he needs during this period is something else: to know and be sure that, despite everything, his father and mother still love him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Who will the child live with?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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One of the most difficult issues is deciding who the child will live with after the divorce.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

In the overwhelming majority of cases, the child remains with the mother. Unfortunately, this difficult decision in our country is made by the court, often without taking into account the wishes of the child. To facilitate this moment, it is necessary to morally prepare the child to the fact that he will live either only with mom, or with dad. Each parent has something to give to his child.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One of the most delicate and difficult moments of divorce is whether the parent who has left the family can be allowed to see the child. Often it is waiting for a ban on communication, caused by excessive resentment, unresolved conflict.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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If you are unwilling to let the other parent near the child for this reason - you are making a big mistake.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Your child has already been deprived of a lot - and with such actions you are also depriving him\/her of the last opportunity to communicate with one of the most dear people in the world. But there are cases when such a refusal is quite justified. For example, if the cause of divorce was alcoholism, drug addiction, violence or antisocial behavior of one of the parents. In this case, it is better to limit the child's communication with such a parent, but the child himself should explain why. This conversation is difficult, and it is important to avoid harsh assessments and attempts to convince the child that he or she has a bad dad (mom).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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It's impossible to divorce your spouse in a way that doesn't hurt your child.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

But how much that pain will be, and how well he or she will cope with it, depends enormously on you, the parents. Whatever you do, whatever you say, remember that every gesture and every word is imprinted on your child's personality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2753 Frequently Asked Questions<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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  1. How do you tell your child about a divorce?<\/strong>
    Communicate together, calmly and honestly, without accusations. Emphasize that you both remain his parents and love him.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  2. How do you convince a child that it's not their fault?<\/strong>
    Explicitly say that the decision to divorce is an adult choice and the child is not responsible for it.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  3. How do you help your child adjust after a divorce?<\/strong>
    Maintain routines, maintain stability, and ensure regular communication with both parents.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  4. What to do if a child expresses negative emotions?<\/strong>
    Allow him to express his feelings, be present, listen and supportive. Do not ignore his emotions.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  5. How do you organize communication with a parent who is leaving?<\/strong>
    Establish a clear schedule of meetings and communication, taking into account the child's wishes, so that he or she feels safe.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n