{"id":468,"date":"2012-11-28T15:24:07","date_gmt":"2012-11-28T13:24:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.my-shrink.net\/?p=468"},"modified":"2025-05-14T12:53:25","modified_gmt":"2025-05-14T09:53:25","slug":"missiya-vyzhit-ili-kak-perezhit-razvod","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nedelkova.pro\/en\/missiya-vyzhit-ili-kak-perezhit-razvod.php","title":{"rendered":"The mission is to survive! Or how to survive a divorce!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Every person who goes through a divorce is sure that it is they who experience this process the hardest. In fact, all those who have decided to break up a relationship that was once secured by vows, feel no better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

No matter how you position the breakup - \"I'm leaving\" or \"I've been abandoned\" - there will be well-wishers for whom you will be to blame. But the abandoned person feels victimized at the same time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pity as a bad way to get through a divorce<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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So my first piece of advice is to boost your own self-esteem don't let you feel sorry for yourself!<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You can call a divorce a consensual separation, but you don't have to take the victim position.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Divorce consists of an emotional breakup and the legal dissolution of a social contract. Do not mix one with the other. You don't need to make a colorful scene in the courtroom.<\/strong> Decide in advance with whom the children will stay, how you will divide the property and try to avoid excessive emotionality in solving these issues.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Divorce is one stage in your life<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Realize that your spouse was not your whole life, but only a certain stage of it, through which you became stronger and wiser.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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The divorce itself is a crisis in your life<\/strong>that you just have to get over.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Sadness, grief, suffering and the certainty that it's all your fault - all of this will pass.<\/strong> After the fact. the initial shock will wear off<\/strong> from the news of divorce, recognize that divorce is real, it is not a temporary misunderstanding that will resolve itself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Then you will be visited anger and depression.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n

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\"divorce\"<\/span><\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n

Keep in mind that advice from a wise person or counseling from an experienced psychologist can pull you out of depression fairly quickly. The problem is that most of the really wise acquaintances belong to the generation that mostly avoided divorce, so their advice would have been more useful earlier - to save the marriage, and for psychological revival more effective will be a visit to a psychologist. And if depression after divorce lasts more than a year, it is almost impossible to do without the help of a psychotherapist.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How do you ease the pain of divorce?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

However, divorce is not always the cause of such a deep depression and there are many ways to relieve the suffering of divorce yourself. I will tell you about the most effective of them now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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  1. Put off suffering until tomorrow<\/strong> and take on new challenges. Perhaps you need to look for a new place to live, and at the same time transfer your child to a kindergarten, which is located closer to the new house. Do repairs, look for additional sources of income - and you are not unnecessary, and your ex-spouse let him see that you have everything worked out perfectly. Make a list of all the important things to do, number them in order of priority and try to fulfill the planned in the shortest possible time. Check the boxes next to the completed items - it will give you confidence in your abilities.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  2. Get rid of the memories.<\/strong> Hide photos and gifts, do not go to those cafes where you liked to be together, limit communication with relatives of the former partner, and perhaps common friends. Few of them will be able to withstand a neutral position and not to poison your soul.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  3. Find someone to vent to.<\/strong> This can be a close relative, a trusted friend, a priest or a psychologist. Keep in mind that not all friends and relatives will be able to keep the confidentiality of the story! Therefore, if there is an opportunity to consult a psychologist - do not refuse it. If there is no such opportunity, look for psychological support on the Internet on forums or in groups of similar divorcees. If it is difficult for you to open up to another person, start keeping a diary, it will help to get rid of worries and over time to analyze the past.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n
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    Acquire new interests as a matter of urgency<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

    Dance, join a gym or knitting class, learn a foreign language. Every day should be filled with interesting and important things to do. Keep a daily planner to remember everything. This will help you to focus not on the past, but on today and tomorrow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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    Limit your TV viewing, there is too much negativity pouring out.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

    Learn to relax - scented baths, yoga, nice light music, favorite foods, gifts to yourself... In the fight for relaxation, all means are good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    What should be avoided after a divorce?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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    • After the divorce. don't try to dull the pain<\/strong> bad habits (alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, etc.). The psychological pain will go away, but the bad habits will remain and you will need the help of an addiction specialist.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    • Don't look for a new relationship right away<\/strong> or one-night partners - you are not ready for a new partnership, and frivolous connections can cost you dearly.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    • Do not have fun in hot places, such as casinos. You are now an easy prey for scammers, and you also run the risk of gambling addiction.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    • Forget about the ex-partner<\/strong>. Do not pursue him with the goal of repairing the relationship, nor with the goal of revenge.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    • Don't make any major decisions until the storm of emotions has settled.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n

      \ud83d\udccc Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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      1. How do you regain emotional balance and start a new life after divorce?<\/strong>
        Try to fill your life with new meanings and goals, engage in self-development, communicate with loved ones, find new interests and hobbies. It is important to give yourself time to recover and not to rush things.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
      2. Which stages of the emotional experience of divorce are most characteristic?<\/strong>
        Divorce is often accompanied by stages similar to the grieving process: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Each of these can manifest in different ways and in different sequences, it is important to be aware of your feelings and allow yourself to live through them.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
      3. How do you avoid being a victim after a divorce?<\/strong>
        You should not feel sorry for yourself and take the position of a victim. Accepting responsibility for your life and taking active steps to improve it will help to strengthen your self-esteem and get out of the state of helplessness.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
      4. What are some practical steps to help deal with the aftermath of divorce?<\/strong>
        Make a list of current tasks and priorities, plan for the future, find new hobbies or pastimes, limit contacts that trigger painful memories, and surround yourself with supportive people.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
      5. When should I seek professional psychological help?<\/strong>
        If the state of depression and apathy persists for more than a year, or if you feel that you are unable to cope with your emotions on your own, it is recommended that you see a psychologist or psychotherapist for expert support.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n