{"id":1195,"date":"2013-06-13T18:31:17","date_gmt":"2013-06-13T15:31:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.my-shrink.net\/?p=1195"},"modified":"2025-05-08T16:23:09","modified_gmt":"2025-05-08T13:23:09","slug":"chto-delat-esli-rebenok-kataet-isteriku","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nedelkova.pro\/en\/chto-delat-esli-rebenok-kataet-isteriku.php","title":{"rendered":"Children's tantrums. What to do if the child is rolling tantrums?"},"content":{"rendered":"

You know the feeling: the word \"no\" to a child's request or demand and he is already rolling around on the floor, squealing desperately. Even if you are at home alone, it is hard to bear it. And if this happens in a public place? What if it happens too often?<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

What to do if tantrums become uncontrollable? Maybe the child is not just capricious, but seriously ill? And most importantly: how can you stop a child's tantrums without becoming hysterical yourself?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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First, we need to figure out what causes children's tantrums.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Most often it is a strong desire (e.g., sweets) or reluctance (e.g., to go to kindergarten) for something combined with the inability to get it (for objective reasons or because adults decided so). That is, the tantrum in the vast majority of cases is a means of manipulation by adults, the purpose of which is to cancel the prohibitions and get what they want. What does this mean for you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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First and foremost is the fact that Never override your decision or grant a child's wishes if he or she throws a tantrum.<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

If you give in, with a probability close to 100% you can wait for the next \"concert\", because the child has learned: action! This is the first paradox of hysterical behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n

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\"tantrum\"<\/span><\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n

And here's the second paradox: the more you comfort, worry and fuss, the longer the tantrum will last.<\/strong>. The clue is simple - tantrums are a way to attract attention and cause self-pity (a very effective way, by the way). The child cries and beats his head against the wall - parents comfort, the longer he beats - the more consolation and attention. From this follows the conclusion:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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During a tantrum, do not try to comfort or try to quiet the child's cries. Be as calm as possible, but keep an eye on the rambunctious little one for safety reasons.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

After realizing that this is not the way to get attention from you, the juvenile terrorist will calm down after a while.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, this rule cannot be applied in all cases. It is difficult for young children to control their emotions, and it can be very difficult for them to calm down when they are angry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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If you notice that the child is not able to stop crying, although making efforts to do so, help him: take him in your arms, cheer him up.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

What about tantrums in public places? After all, they are not only exhausting, but also very humiliating. Moreover, the child realizes that you find yourself in an awkward position, and therefore vulnerable to his influence (that is, he has more chances to defeat you). This means that the tantrum will be loud so that as many people as possible can hear it and you feel as much shame as possible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Don't wait for something like this, At the first sign of tantrums in public, take your child to a private place<\/strong>. Ideally home.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n

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\"how<\/span><\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n

There is no point in instructing or proving anything to a child during a tantrum<\/strong>. All the more pointless (and sometimes even harmful!) to scold him. It is unlikely that your words will be heard, and in response to scolding the tantrum will only intensify. Do not reproach the baby and after the tantrum. It is best to talk about what happened some time after the incident.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tantrums are primarily a means of manipulation, but the reality is more complicated than it seems. You have probably noticed that a child often has tantrums in conflict situations (especially when conflict erupts between adults close to him or her) or when the child is afraid. In this case, the tantrum is not a means of manipulation, but a startle response<\/strong>. The abundance of such events upsets the child's psyche and increases the likelihood of tantrums. Many children's natural predisposition of the nervous system contributes to this. Tantrums can also begin after psychological trauma (e.g., parental divorce).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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What to do if a child's tantrum is caused by such reasons?<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

In general, the advice above will help, but with some additions. A child who is having a tantrum needs help and support. Take him in your arms or sit next to him and hug him, stroke his head. It is better not to say anything, just be near - your calmness and sympathy will have an impact. But excessive consoling, lamenting and fussing, on the contrary, will only make things worse (the child will feel that you need help too, i.e. everything is even worse than it was).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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If tantrums become too frequent (tantrums every day are no longer the norm) or uncontrollable (for example, the child hurts himself or breaks and tears things), you should immediately contact a specialist.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

The best helpers in this case will be child and family psychologists (don't be surprised, but in the vast majority of cases with abnormal tantrums the blame for them lies with family members), as well as an experienced child psychotherapist. In some particularly difficult cases, the help of a neurologist may be needed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A child having a tantrum is horrible.<\/strong> But with proper patience you can overcome this enemy! And if so far you do not succeed, do not despair, because the age of tantrums sooner or later will end.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2753 Frequently Asked Questions<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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  1. Why do children throw tantrums?<\/strong>
    Tantrums often occur as a reaction to inhibitions or unmet desires, especially in children who are not yet able to express their emotions in words.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  2. How to respond to a child's tantrum?<\/strong>
    It is important to remain calm, not to give in to manipulation and not to give in to demands if they are expressed through tantrums.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  3. Should you comfort your child during a tantrum?<\/strong>
    If the child cannot calm down on their own, you can offer support, but not too much attention so as not to reinforce the behavior.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  4. How do you prevent tantrums in public places?<\/strong>
    At the first sign of a tantrum, it is worth taking the child to a quiet place to avoid increasing the emotional outburst.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  5. When should professional help be sought?<\/strong>
    If tantrums become frequent and intense, it is worth consulting a child psychologist to assess the situation.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n