{"id":1175,"date":"2013-06-04T17:59:37","date_gmt":"2013-06-04T14:59:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.my-shrink.net\/?p=1175"},"modified":"2025-05-08T16:33:30","modified_gmt":"2025-05-08T13:33:30","slug":"kak-akkuratno-rasstatsya-s-devushkoj-sovety-psixologa","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nedelkova.pro\/en\/kak-akkuratno-rasstatsya-s-devushkoj-sovety-psixologa.php","title":{"rendered":"How to carefully break up with a girl? Tips from a psychologist."},"content":{"rendered":"

Mostly, men are interested in the question of how to get acquainted and start a relationship with a girl. But you are faced with a completely different kind of question: how to break up with your current girlfriend in such a way that you remain friends, not enemies? <\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

After all, the relationship can develop in different ways, and it seems that your future does not have, and hurt the heart of the girlfriend does not want to hurt at all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Breaking up, as well as getting to know each other, is something you need to know how to do. Moreover, if dating is a pleasant process in many respects, then parting causes a lot of negative emotions and consequences. Naturally, you do not want to feel them on their own skin. Rejected girl is capable of a lot. She can poison the life of a former lover, spoil his new relationship, or vice versa, to fall into depression and make trouble, for which you will feel guilty for the rest of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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So, how to break up with a girl, and not turn her into an enemy, and if possible, to remain good friends?<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n

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\"how<\/span><\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n

Among men there are charismatic personalities, which girls are able to forgive literally everything. Even parting with such a person is perceived easily. But if you are wondering how to break up a relationship, you clearly do not belong to the number of these rare lucky people. Do not worry about it - it just means that you are a completely normal man, moreover, you care and behave in a gentlemanly manner, because there are many men in the world who do not care about the pain caused to the girl when parting. For such on the Internet posted a lot of sarcastic methods of breakup (like \"stop watching yourself and grow a beer belly\" or \"tell her that you have a sexual interest in guys\"), which, perhaps, and laugh at you. But, unlike them, you understand the real-life consequences of such behavior, and you want to act differently.<\/p>\n\n\n

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\"how<\/span><\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n

When breaking up with a girl, you'll have to go through a rough patch - frank discussion on the subject<\/strong>. It must necessarily take place! Many cowardly men, not wanting to go through this stage, simply evaporate from the lives of their girlfriends, cutting off ties, changing phone numbers and so on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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This causes a lot of pain to any girl, as it leaves open the most important and difficult questions for her: why did the relationship stop? Who is to blame for the breakup? What did she do wrong?<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Looking for the reason for the breakup (or rather, escape) in herself, the girl gets depressed and loses self-esteem, or develops a plan of revenge (and woe if she can find you). This option is unacceptable, because the former friend, one way or another, will become your enemy. If you want to remain friends, prepare for the conversation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Preparing for such a conversation is serious business.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

It is necessary to choose both time and place carefully. In no case, do not invite a girl to places that will remind you of the best moments of your relationship (for example, the place where you first met). Ideal will be a neutral territory where no one will not interfere with you. For example, a table in a cozy cafe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Time is just as important. It's mean, to say \"we should break up\" to a girl before the start of the workday or in the morning on a weekend that you planned to spend together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So we're all set for a serious conversation. There are a few things to consider.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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First - don't \"back yourself up\" with a dose of alcohol!<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Undoubtedly, to say the proverbial \"we have to break up\" is hard and requires courage, but if you say it in a tipsy state, the reaction will be very unpredictable, up to the fact that your girlfriend will decide that you are drunk, you are not responsible for yourself, and to take your words seriously - stupid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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How should this difficult breakup conversation take place?<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

There are a number of precautions to take. The first is. convince the girl that the breakup is not her fault.<\/strong>. It is absolutely natural that you should not turn this conversation into a \"who is to blame\" relationship. If the friend fell into a state of passion and said to you abominations - do not respond in the same way, because her state is a reaction to the pain of your words. It is better just keep silent and let the emotions flow, or try to calm her down, say that you understand how it hurts her now.<\/p>\n\n\n

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\"breakup\"<\/span><\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n

But you should not make the next mistake when you see her tears: to backtrack and give her the hope that everything can be brought back<\/strong>. Undoubtedly, her tears hurt you and cause feelings of guilt, but if you decide to break off the relationship, do not leave \"tails\" in the form of phantom hopes. These hopes can prevent your ex-girlfriend from establishing a normal life and starting a new relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The most difficult thing, perhaps, will be to explain to the girl the reason for your decision to break up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Best of all, strange as it may seem, the girl will understand you if the reason for the breakup was love for another. If it is really so, say it honestly.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

But in no case do not say that, for example, you have already started a new relationship (even if it is true) - it would be a form of betrayal. Your arguments should convince her that you are ending the relationship just in an attempt to avoid this betrayal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the reason is different, try to explain it as clearly as possible. Of course, it is possible that the reason for the breakup was your friend herself (because it happens so - too much you are not satisfied with her). If you want to stay in a good, friendly relationship, this reason is better not to report. Perhaps this is the only option in this situation, when a lie is better than the truth. In this case, you can say something along the lines of \"we are too different and not right for each other.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As you can see, breaking up with a girl is very difficult. If you are not sure that you can do everything right, before the decisive step, consult a psychologist. The specialist will help you prepare for all the vicissitudes of the breakup and avoid unpleasant consequences of parting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2753 Frequently Asked Questions<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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  1. Why is it important to have the breakup conversation in person rather than through texts or calls?<\/strong>
    A personal conversation allows you to express respect for your partner's feelings, avoid misunderstandings and give you the opportunity to discuss the reasons for the breakup in a calm environment.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  2. How do you choose the right time and place to talk about a breakup?<\/strong>
    It is best to choose a neutral place where no one will interfere and a time when both partners are free and can discuss the situation calmly.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  3. What phrases will help to gently communicate the decision to break up?<\/strong>
    Use phrases that express your feelings and respect for your partner, such as: \"I appreciate the time we've spent together, but I feel like we're going our separate ways.\"<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  4. How do you respond to your partner's emotional reaction during a conversation?<\/strong>
    Show empathy and understanding, give her the opportunity to express her feelings, but remain firm in your decision, avoiding accusations and recriminations.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  5. Should we offer to stay friends after a breakup?<\/strong>
    It depends on the situation and the feelings of both parties. If both are ready for a friendship without romantic expectations, it is possible, but it is important to set clear boundaries.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n